Don't be fooled. Banana lovers are not what they seem to be. You may think to yourself "How on Earth could anyone ever love a banana?". Your optimism is to be applauded. If there were more people like you in the world the Anti Banana Society would become redundant and end up like any other Public Service agency.

Banana lovers are far and few between but they do exist. Remember that although everyone you know may seem normal there is always a chance that things are not what they seem... 50% of the people in the world are below average so even with the best of intentions these people may swing to the dark side - fooled by the shiny things and loud music used by Pro-Banana factions.

The Anti Banana society recommends the following steps to help with any misguided people:

• Never, never panic! Banana lovers can smell fear and they trive off it.
• Don't make eye contact. If you do make eye contact, don't break it or it will be seen as a sign of weakness by the banana lover.
• Edge slowly away to a large group of people. There is safety in numbers.
• Try to isolate the banana lover, preferbly by heading them in to a Church or some other religious place.
• Remember, never panic.