As with all government departments, we spend insanely large amounts of money on dinner, hotel rooms with nice towels, phone sex lines, and IRC.  But we also do more.  We protect you.  You see, in every family - there's a smart child.  In every car - there's a spark.  In every network - there's a Linux server.  We are these things - we are the department that DOES something.  Infact, we have done quite a lot.

The Anti-Banana Society is responsible for public awareness with regards to the bananas.  The United Nations know of their plans for world domination, and we have been created to stop them.  We have set up 7 major defense bases to fight the banana's.  3 in the USA, 1 in Europe, 2 in Australia and 1 in Uruguay.  Each base has a training facility, which churn out roughly 32 banana hunters a year, and an advanced technology research centre at the bottom of the ocean which is responsible for developing weaponry and defense systems.  We also have various other installations around the globe, but they are deemed classified.  The one in Japan for example, which no one must know about.

The Anti-Banana Society also sells a wide range of socks with various logo's on it.  High quailty ones too.  And, did you know, that wool is not the best thing for making sock out of?  I didn't.  I was absolutely amazed when the dude down at the sock plant told me.  I tell ya, they're interesting things, these socks.  Milk is also fairly interesting.  On the subject of milk, I made my first Linux program yesterday.  It's called xknsenjsdg.  It basically creates a quantum vortex by changing cromoton particles in the space-time continuum into fluxed particles.  It's only 39kb too.